Thels Talk

Now Go Tell Him You Have A Headache

February 13th, 2010 |

Author: Ethel

It’s a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He’s wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt.

The zoo is not very busy this morning. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape. (No pun intended) He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. “Now try lifting your dress up to your thighs* and sort of fan it at him.” He says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he’s doing flips.

Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. “Now!, tell HIM you have a headache.”

Posted in Humor

Blonde Mortician

February 10th, 2010 |

Author: Ethel

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

‘There’s no charge,’ she is told.

‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

‘So I just switched the heads.’

Posted in Humor

Best Practices For Great Relationships At Work

January 23rd, 2010 |

Author: Ethel

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster and do it with no thought of reward. Your life will never be the same again,” wrote Og Mandino, the great inspirational thinker. In this age of blistering technological change where computers are obsolete the moment they come to market and business models that have governed commerce for decades have been rendered useless by the Web, one time-honored principle endures: (Italics) how high you will rise in business will ultimately come down to how well you treat people. The more prevalent technology becomes, the more prominent it will become to master the art of developing deep connections with the people who surround you.

You can transform the way you work and the results you see by making the simple decision to get back to the fundamentals and start focusing in building rich, mutually rewarding relationships with the men and women who are your teammates, customers and contacts. Sure high-tech communication tools save us time and make us more effective but these new forms of contact must (italics) compliment rather than replace the human touch and the process of cultivating relationships. Remember, technology is nice but you cannot fax a handshake and you can’t e-mail a pat on the back.

Here are 5 effective lessons to deepen your business relationships and, correspondingly, raise the levels of your success and fulfillment at work:
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Posted in Relationship |

Tags: Relationship