Going To Ask A Woman Out On A Date? Have A Plan
After summoning the courage, you finally land a date with the hot chick you’ve been lusting for. You show up at the door with flowers and candy, and think that you are about to score brownie points when she opens the door. I have news for you, buddy, because your date is probably thinking the exact opposite.
If you’re going to ask a woman out on a date, have a plan. Women love that and women love confidence. Ask open-ended questions. Rather than saying, “Where are you from?” say, “Tell, me about the place where you grew up.” That will keep the conversation flowing. Men, you should still open doors and pull out a chair for your date. These chivalrous things still make a good impression: Plan the date near her place, not yours. And most importantly, pick up the check.
Flowers and candy were once thought to be “romantic” or a “gentlemanly gesture.” That was also in the days of Leave it to Beaver. Times have changed, women have changed. Things that worked back then, just don’t work now. They don’t carry any merit, and in fact, they actually may hurt you. Let me tell you why.
What you thought was such a sweet gesture on your part, just told the woman you are taking on a date a very different thing. To her, flowers and candy represent a wimpy token of appreciation in hopes of receiving her attention in exchange. They are unoriginal, lack creativity, and are just plain cheesy. You might get a fake smile in return, and maybe a hug if you’re lucky, but they will both lack sincerity. Strike ONE!
Not only will they lack sincerity, but you have just lost any ounce of respect you were hoping to establish. Any ordinary fellow can pick up flowers, so you have to do something to set yourself apart from those other guys.
Try something different. Think about every conversation that you have had with her. If you were listening, she probably told you more than enough about herself to give you a clue on her likes and dislikes.
Where did you meet her? At a coffee shop? At a book store? At the mall? Bringing something of context to her will show that you not only are attentive, but are proactive about it. If you bumped into her at a book store, do you remember which section you were in? What she was reading? Pick up a book of the same author or topic for her. You can’t imagine how many brownie points that will earn you.
And before you show up for your date, have something about the gift in mind that you want to talk about. Don’t think that her heart and affection will be yours upon receiving the gift. You have to know WHY you’re giving it to her, and be able to articulate it at the same time.
In the book example, do a little research on the author. Find out what types of books the author writes. Maybe check out some editorial reviews that you can “borrow” to make it appear that you know what you are talking about. And it will show your date that you went out of your way to look up and research her interests.
In her mind, if you get into something just because she is interested in it, that will show her you can express similar enthusiasm later down the road. And if she starts picturing the near future with you in it, that’ll do so much for the current date you are going on.
Trust me, you’ll see more enthusiasm on her end, which will make for an engaging date for the both of you. And you know what that means…usually another date very soon.
So, to summarize the key points of this article…
1. NOOOOOOO flowers and candy. Did I get my point across?
2. Be creative. Bring something of context.
3. Research before you give her the gift. And have something articulate to say about it.
4. Don’t make a second date while you’re still on the first date.
Sorry, after decades of being told by other males they wish they had followed my path in live (wifeless, childless) due to the horrors females put them through, I wouldn’t ask a female for a date for any reason!!!!
Today’s females, the vast majority, anyway, in MY opinion, are not worthy of a male’s attentions.
Simply too dangerous. The entire “game” is skewed in the fenale’s favor; from the legal system to charitable organizations to divorce courts, you name it.
A female can destroy your life and strip your wealth with one mere accusation, even if it is a false one.
Ample evidence to back up my words in MY opinion. A Google period with the proper search terms will offer a horde of evidence.
Well, I agree with a lot of your points, I would disagree with bringing a gift at all on the first date. I do think you should pay attention to her and know her interests, but delving too deeply could seem a little…….stalker-ish? But I do appreciate a guy who will notice and pay attention to the things I do and say. So, attention yes, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say gift and research. First date should be about conversation and getting to know one another, and gifts seem to detract from that I think.
I will be more keen to know me when I can see how interested he is on me. Only when that happens will the flowers and chocolates take on a special meaning.Nothing has meaning until I give meaning to the words said and things done.
Candy and flowers? The last time I got even closer to asking a woman out, was 4 months ago. It was something like “When are we going to get together, with some friends, get something to drink, have a good time?”. A week later (due to my evil plans, charms and the ability to not to fall dead, after a bottle of whiskey) we were together. We are quite happy now.
I’m not saying - Go out there, get drunk ans she is yours. My point is that sometimes the most illogical things you do can get you there. Just be yourself and you can’t go wrong (long term perspective).
P.S. I agree that a lot of the women nowadays can get you in trouble, out of nothing.
As a woman, I appreciate flowers. It’s a lovely gesture.
“Most importantly pick up the check”.
Yeah right!
I actually let the women pick up the check the first date. If she thinks I’m stupid and didn’t appreciate her time…good, next…