Why Women Don’t Like Other Women
March 27th, 2009 | 
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It is so commonplace to hear women degrade other women just because they are women. I can not count the number of times I’ve heard women say that they’d rather befriend a man rather than a woman. They say that other women are caddy. And their male friends are much more entertaining and fun to be around.
This article wouldn’t need to be written if there was truth, and clarity in those voices of discrimination being echoed across the country by women against other women. From a psychological and spiritual perspective I can understand why it is happening. But there is no justification in prejudging another human being just because you haven’t resolved your own issues.
Our society has become sensitive to the struggles of different minorities. We hold hands and sing songs of unity and hope when it comes to overcoming racism. We march in support of those dying from life threatening diseases and we volunteer our time, and sometimes lives, to make sure our brothers or sisters in other countries have adequate shelter, food, water, and health care.
Still, there is an insidious cancer that has been infecting the minds of ordinary people for a very long time. It’s a mindset that not only diminishes the credibility and importance of its victim but at the same time will convince the victim to spread the poison.
Hating women, as well as gays, is still very much alive. The former, we don’t talk about and the latter, we stand on street corners expressing our reasons of justification. Yet, little girls and grown women continue to be driven into back alleys to be, raped, beaten, and often times killed. And it’s not just in this country but in many other wealthy and powerful societies, women are disposable waste.
They … we, are something to be exploited, used, bought, shipped, and rented. Our bodies are contorted into whatever fashion is deemed presentable by the man with the money. Our half nude bodies are plastered on street corners, beer advertisements, billboard campaigns, trains, planes, and automobiles. And where we want to be … boardrooms, behind the pulpits, or on the front lines, there is always somebody’s justification holding us back.
Unfortunately, that justification given by men who find it necessary to slap women around, assault them, mentally and emotionally enslave them is the same justification being exercised by women, who for no other reason than that they’re women, despise other women.
I understand it as old fashioned, internalized oppression from a psychological perspective. And from a spiritual perspective, I know it to be the person still in search of Self, God, and Love. However, there’s no justification in causing or prolonging the pain, shame, guilt, and angst of millions of women. Women who, just like you, want only to matter and be treated like decent human beings. Remember the saying … “Together we stand, divided we fall.”
Well, take a look around. Women are falling all around you and there is no one there to catch them. I’m not saying go be every woman’s best friend. But the next time you have an opportunity to befriend a woman, don’t just sit back and think you’re better or somehow different. You just might find a friend or even better, you might find yourself.
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so why don’t women like other women again?
Bah, manhater. You keep blaming your troubles on and demonizing men and then wondering why you get no respect. You have to give respect to get it.
Also, every woman wants to be the center of attention, don’t even try and deny it. The reason you hate scantily clad supermodels on billboards is the same reason you hate other women. You’re jealous.
Its this kind of ignorance that Gazle posted that the writer is talking about.
Well done Gazle for proving her point.
The word is spelled “catty” not “caddy”! A caddy is someone who carries around your golf clubs!
Ps. I didn’t mean this to be catty…only trying to be helpful. Hey, at least I’m reading your blog!
I somewhat agree but for different reasons. I’m a 43 year old woman, and I had no problems with female friends as a child or when I was in high school or college, but, after that, it just seems that there’s sooo much competition between women, whose husband is the best, whose husband makes the most money and buys them the best things, who’s thinner, prettier, looks the youngest, has the best job, etc, etc, etc. I have gotten burned so many times by female friends in adulthood, I have just come to the point where I just hang out with my husband and kids rather than hang out with other women and come home feeling bad about myself because I don’t measure up somehow. I do agree with guys being better friends. I had a group of male friends in college which was probably larger than my group of female friends, and I was much closer to the male friends. There’s not all that competition going on.
I feel somewhat that there is no win with other women. If you are pretty or somewhat attractive(never mind that they also may be just as attractive)you are hated period. If you gain weight or you simply dont look like they do you are not good enough to be friend them or hang out together. All I ever wanted was to have a female friend to share things with, things we can’t tell our mothers or husbands, to have fun with, to share diet recipe with, go shopping with, not to compete who is better, or prettier or smarter. I have gone to the point to purposely look less attractive, but that was not right for me to do. I like looking my best, I want to have lots of women friend, but i don’t want it at the cost of being worried about not making anywoman feel insecure about herself. I find this on going feud between women is so sad, cause no one would deny that there are many times in our lives we wish we had another girl to talk to. Being jealous all the time shows such low self esteem, such immaturity. But mostly reveals that you have not love for yourself and do not embrace your uniqueness. So please next time you see a woman who is trying to be your friend give her a chance.